I do not want to have a mouse

I do not want to have a mouse.
I do not like him in my house.
I do not want to see him creep
Throughout the rooms while children sleep.
His time to be here as our guest
Has gone too long, though I’m impressed
That he quite simply won’t be caught
No matter what treats we have bought.
For peanut butter, chocolate, cheese
He skips right past with mousey ease.
And every time we plug a hole,
He finds another, bless his soul.

“I’ve never had a mouse before
I couldn’t catch,” the pest man swore.
But if you have a mouse at all
You want one with a load of gall.
One day perhaps he’ll make a slip
And to mouse heaven take a trip
But ’til that day he sneaks with stealth
And thrives with all his mousey health.
He’s cute, I know, and cunning, too.
He likes Slim Jims. He’s had a few,
But somehow prances past the trap,
Which only on our toes doth snap.
Oh, mouse who’s been here weeks and weeks,
Please take your appetite and squeaks
And skip along to who knows where.
Where should you go? I do not care.
But though you’re smart and cute and fast,
Your time to leave our home is past.
Pack up your things and say goodbye,
And I will promise not to cry.

Catholic Review

Catholic Review

The Catholic Review is the official publication of the Archdiocese of Baltimore.