Why I’m crying as our child starts kindergarten

As our little boy walks into school to start kindergarten today, I’ll have tears in my eyes.

It’s not just that I want to hold onto our baby a little longer.

I’m crying because I worry that I should have prepared him better for the challenges and questions that come with starting this new chapter of his life.

I’m crying because even though his big brother will be nearby, our little boy has to stand on his own.

I’m crying because I know he has to make his own friends, which he’ll do so easily, but he’ll also have to figure out that children aren’t always kind.

I’m crying because I’m so very proud of who our little boy is—and how far he has come since we met him four years ago.

I’m crying because there were years when I wasn’t sure I’d ever be a mother—and because I know so many people who still yearn for motherhood or miss a child who’s in heaven.

I’m crying because I’m overjoyed and honored to be the mother of a child who is so packed with personality, compassion, and joy he brings to every single day.

I’m crying because I know there are people on the other side of the world who would love to watch our little boy beginning his first year of elementary school. They would be so proud of him.

And, all right, all right, I might as well admit that I’m crying because just a minute ago he was a toddler racing his big brother through our house, and I can’t believe he’s already in kindergarten.

We went through this two years ago, and I thought it would be easier the second time. In some ways, though, it’s more difficult. You see, I know how fast it’s going to go. And one day I’ll be packing lunches and realize the year is ending, and we’re on to the next.

I feel so blessed to be here with him right now, to be celebrating this moment in our family. And I know that as nervous as he might be to start kindergarten, tomorrow he will jump out of the car and run to the door without even looking back.

And that’s good because then he won’t notice that I might have tears in my eyes again.

Have fun in kindergarten, little one. Let your little light shine.

Joining Theology Is a Verb and Reconciled to You for Worth Revisiting Wednesday on Aug. 24, 2016.

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