Youth/Young Adult

 Is this the Real Thing?

--Rosalie Brennan in Should We Marry, by Rev. Joseph Champlin, Ave Maria Press, 2001

___  Is this other person your best friend?

___  Do you attempt to meet the other's needs before you take care of yourself?

___  Do you have similar or complementary values on issues such as family, fidelity, money, lifestyle, children, ambitions, work ethic?

___  If you were deserted on an island, would this person be the one you would want to be with?

___  Are you intimidated by the other person?

___  Do you feel safe when you are together?

___  Do you walk together, not in front or behind each other?

___  Do you have similar or opposing views about your extended families?

___  Do you both realize that the wedding and marriage is only the beginning of the task of making a happy relationship?

___  What does the other person do to make you happy?

___  Do you really communicate and listed to each other?

___  Does your partner know what makes you happy, sad or angry?

___  Are your problem solving styles similar or complementary?

___  How do you resolve conflicts - by avoidance, confrontation, or compromise?

___  Would you consider yourselves on the same intellectual level?

___  Have you common feelings about children and how to raise them?

___  Is your life assuming a new dimension in which you speak more about "our" time and "our" weekend, instead of "my" time and "my" weekend?

___  When you look at each other, can you guess (fairly accurately) how each other is feeling?

___  Does time go faster when you are together and slower when you are apart?

___  Do you share common interests?

___  Can you say "I am sorry" when you have made a mistake or hurt the other person?

___  Are the other's parents still married?

___  What kind of marriage do the other's parents have?

___  How do the other's parents treat each other?

___  Does your partner have a deep faith and practice that faith?

___  How committed is each one to making the marriage work?

___  Does she/he have a sense of humor?

___  Can your partner laugh at himself/herself?

___  Whose needs does the other think of first in the relationship or about life in general?

___  Are you comfortable holding hands in public?