You host engaged couples in your home. Your role is two-fold: Facilitators and Teachers.

As Facilitators, you help couples interpret the results of their FOCCUS, encouraging communication between them. This facilitating mode allows the couple to deal with their own issues and struggle with them.

Your task is to help the couple listen to each other, share thoughts and feelings, and work toward solutions. See COMMUNICATION SKILLS.

At other times, you act as Teachers. You share what the Church teaches and instruct in useful relationship skills. You should not move into the teaching mode too early, however. Become the teacher only after helping the couple to discuss an issue thoroughly and look for their own solutions. This will be the appropriate time to inform the couple of the Church's teaching on an issue.

You may quote other reliable sources ("Let me give you an example of how others handle this."). You might tell of a time when you faced and resolved this issue in your marriage ("I'll never forget the time when we …"). Be sure that you and your spouse agree on which personal information to share. See SHARING FROM YOUR EXPERIENCE.

Be sensitive to the ethnic and cultural background of the participants. Each person has his or her own individual and unique frame of reference - some positive and some negative. Indeed, all of us bring to our ministries the riches of our own cultural heritage, personal experiences, and gifts of faith, hope and love. See ADULT LEARNING.

See also FOCCUS Manual, p. 8-9, for more about your two roles.