PREPARING YOUR CHILDREN

It will surely be valuable for the engaged couple to see how much children have enriched your marriage. Be aware, however, that children could be a distraction to them.

Be sure that your sessions will have the quiet and privacy needed for answering questions and couple dialogue.

If your children are old enough, explain the program to them. Encourage them to suggest how they can help assure the success of the sessions in your home.

PREPARING THE HOUSE

The reason for having the couple into your home is so they can see marriage as you really live it. Try not to stress about cleaning and preparing the house. You may serve light refreshments if you prefer. Please do not serve nor offer alcoholic beverages.

Set up a prayer table in the room where you meet with the engaged couple. Place on it a Bible, a candle (perhaps your wedding candle) and something that has a special importance to you as a couple. Share its significance with the engaged couple.

CHOOSING PLACES FOR WRITING AND SHARING

The couples should be apart, ideally in separate rooms, for most writing exercises. This way, only two rooms of the house are required for the sessions.

It may be helpful during the writing time for the husband to be in the same room as the man, and the wife in the same room as the woman. Each can rejoin the partner for private couple sharing, and the two couples can reconvene for two-couple sharing and teaching.

The married couple serve as role models for the engaged and are available to answer questions.

No. 2 Pencils will be needed for completing the FOCCUS. Partners must write separately and be unable to observe each other.

MANAGING TIME

Please begin on time and finish on time. It is important to keep the session on track and this will not occur if you begin late. Two hours is usually sufficient time for a session.

Choose a timekeeper: It is helpful to decide between you who will keep an eye on the clock. Allow for a short stretch break at the end of an hour.

PLANNING THE SESSIONS

The host couple and the engaged couple identify discussion topics meriting special attention by the couple. The first meeting will consist of getting acquainted and explaining and administering the FOCCUS Pre-marital Inventory. See PLANNING SESSIONS.

To tailor the sessions to the needs of the engaged couple, use their FOCCUS report as a guide. See PLANNING SESSIONS.