Validate Your Spouse.
Put yourself in your partner's shoes and imagine his/her what he/she is feeling now.
Letting your spouse know that you understand him/her in many little ways, is a powerful tool for healing your relationship.
Accept the feelings of your spouse and consider them valid, even if you don't share them.
Take responsibility for your actions.
Acknowledge that your actions might have provoked your partner's response. Take responsibility for communicating. The first person to realize that your conversation is getting out of control should be the first person to take steps to change the tone of the conversation.
- Lower your tone of voice.
- Change the selection of words.
- Call a time-out, if necessary.
Apologize.
You can simply say, "I see what you mean." After all, we all can learn something new from the other. At the least, you are sorry that this is a source of disagreement between you. Say so.
Compliment.
Find something good to say. Reminding your partner that you really admire him/her can have a very powerful, positive effect on your communication and relationship.
Keep trying.
A way of showing love for a future spouse is responding to potential problems early, before the wedding, if possible, and throughout the marriage.
Attack the issue, not the person.
The goal must be mutual satisfaction, not to proclaim a winner and a loser. Aim for a win-win outcome.
