Real challenges often lead couples to live together before marriage, including:
- Desire to avoid divorce
- Desire for economic security
- Stability for raising children
- Testing the relationship
Many couples approaching the Church for marriage today are already living together. We are glad that they have decided to join their relationship to the Church. Still, these couples should be made aware of the problems that cohabiting can present for them in the future.
BENEFITS OF NOT COHABITING
(from Faithful to Each Other Forever, Bishop's Committee for Pastoral Research and Practices, NCCB, 1989)
Increased marital satisfaction
Cohabitation may reduce the possibility of eventual marriage. Cohabitation is, also, the cause of greater marital dissatisfaction.
More openness and truthfulness in marriage
To maintain the cohabiting relationship, couples often hide from each other important aspects of their lives.
More healthy relationship, less anger and serious conflicts
Cohabitating couples may tend to speak and behave cautiously to avoid criticizing each other and to repress anger, lest the relationship disintegrate.
More stable financial planning
The handling of finances during cohabitation and after marriage may be quite different and a source of discord.
Less pain and conflict with family members
Relationships with members of their families and with others may be strained during the period of cohabitation.
More inner peace with self and God
Violation of their religious tradition may produce a guilt that, whether acknowledged or repressed, disturbs inner peace and can surface later in other destructive ways.
More secure in knowing you are marrying this person for the right reasons
The absence of unique marital graces bestowed by God through the sacrament of matrimony, will weaken, even if in intangible fashion, their efforts to build a stable relationship.
