A family is never just a group of individuals with some connections to each other. Every family is a network of persons who are powerfully interconnected to each other.

Even if a person leaves a family (including by death), that person may continue to have powerful effects on all the members of the family.

The family background of each couple will influence their expectations of marriage. It is important for them to realize this and to be aware that they bring all of their past experiences into this new relationship.

Three distinct families united

• Yours in-the-making
• Her family
• His family

Extended family can either support or hinder new relationships

• Cultivate healthy relationships with relatives and in-laws
• Recognize the personal limitations of relatives and in-laws
• Share with your future spouse the feelings and experiences about the past

Blending Families

After a divorce

• Don't compare your future spouse with your former spouse.
• Don't involve your future spouse with issues regarding your former spouse.
• Be clear and direct with the former spouse.
• Former in-laws may want to maintain the former relationship with you.
• Recognize new family configurations.
• Grandparents may want visitation rights.
• Avoid past issues.

After the death of a spouse

• Former in-laws may want you to remain an important part of their family.
• Recognize your new family configurations.
• Your new spouse may not feel comfortable being "son/daughter" to your former in-laws.
• Grandparents may want visitation rights.
• Avoid bringing up past issues.